This is the second in the How To Rock A Community series.
Dropping into a new scene or community is like taking your first dive into a cold pool of mountain water.
You don’t really know how deep it is, you are afraid you might get swept away, and not to mention you don’t really like being cold.
Your fear keeps you on the edge of the stone, you test it with a toe and recoil. It’s as cold as you thought it was. You look around but everyone else is already in the water, playing around, splashing and not paying attention to you.
How do they do it? Isn’t it freezing? Why aren’t they being swept away by the current?
Maybe it’s not as bad as it looks. You can do this, it’s only a bit of cold water. You muster up the courage, approach the edge of the stone.
They look at you with questioning faces: what are you doing up there, who are you, why are you watching us?
You start second guessing yourself, what if they don’t want me in their pool. Maybe they’re not getting swept away because they belong. Maybe I’ll be the unlucky one and they won’t save me.
And so you create a loop of worry that binds you to your current situation. You fear that by jumping in the pool you’ll be the outcast. You fear that you won’t be able to stand the cold and will be swept downriver.
As you watch from a rocky perch, one person who seems to be directing the game, taking care of those who are struggling by encouraging them and helping them get their footing. They are the leader, the organizer, the core of the scene. They hold the edges together.
When the core person looks at you their face says: why aren’t you in here with us, don’t be afraid, it’s not as cold as it looks, I’ll help you find your footing.
They are the touchpoint for entering the pool.
So you find your footing, smile and jump in. The water is freezing – cold – brisk – not so bad. The stones are there beneath your feet and a hand is on your shoulder to steady you. You’re in the pool, it’s refreshing and invigorating.
You’ve just jumped into a new pool, a new game, a new community.
They Are Already There
Dropping into a new scene or community is like taking your first dive into a cold pool of mountain water. Yet there is usually someone already in the pool who keeps things going, knows the players, helps people find their footing.
Finding a way into a new community is about finding the core members and saying hello to them. They’re the movers and shakers in their scene. They can introduce you to the outliers who wander who you are as much as you wonder who they are. They are the hand that steadies your shoulder when you first land.
Most scenes and community have super-connectors, individuals who maintain broad networks of associates, friends, and business contacts that bridge the gaps between various communities. They are the spikes that reach out from the core to other cores. They may not be the biggest sharks in the ocean but they know all the fish – large to small.
One-To-One Relationships
It’s daunting to approach a whole new scene but it’s much easier to find the leaders, super-connectors, or core individuals and say hello as one person to another. Develop a rapport with the individual and create a connection, find a bridge between your life and theirs. Be interested in their work, their community, their scene.
Say hello. Introduce yourself. Then ask about them.
Stay tuned for the next in the How To Rock A Community Series: Show Up. Check out the first post How I Managed to Speak At A Conference When I Never Attended One Before.
Flickr photo by fredthechicken.
