Last week I was sitting at my computer, staring at it.

I’d been there for probably an hour or two, flipping through Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, and whatever else I could find to distract myself.

I’d watch an hour of Hulu–catch up on some random show that I only really watch when I need to turn off or escape.

Why was I wasting my time on all of these trivial things? It wasn’t for lack of a productivity system or things to work on.

I had been churning for two weeks almost non-stop on two relatively new business ventures and a client website, that’s about seven days a week and somewhere between 6 and 12 hours a day in front of the computer.  I had been on an upcycle full of passion, zest and a work ethic that would probably make my parents proud.

But then here I was, day two of doing next to nothing for work.  Slow to rise, at a loss of ideas and impetus.

What happened?

I had stopped believing in myself.

There comes a time, especially in the days of solopreneurs, freelancers and vagabonds, when you need someone else to believe in what you’re doing.

Because sometimes you don’t believe in yourself.

Those are the time when you look at your hard work, the unfinished manuscript, the spreadsheets, the sales pages, the websites, and see only the futility of climbing uphill.

Your head is swimming with doubt and dismay. Drowning perhaps.

Let me say it for you:

Sometimes, self-doubt is okay.

It’s a healthy part of the cycle of creating.

Often when you are at the cusp of a real breakthrough your motivation is peaked, your attitude dismayed and your belief wavering.

This is where that someone comes in and can see the big picture, see the work you have been doing and say,

“hey step back with me for a minute… see this big picture thing, well, don’t despair, you’re almost there. You can’t see the top of this hill cause you’re looking at the ground and that only seems to lead down. But it’s right there, I know it and you can do it.”

Whether it’s a spouse or partner, trusted friend, or mentor, or a more professional relationship with a coach, mastermind group or business partner, they are there to believe in the you, the best parts of you, and the best that you can become, even when you can barely lift your head from your feet.

Finding and creating a relationship like this is not always easy. There is a lot of testing and searching involved, whether it’s a personal relationship or a business relationship (like coaching), to find the right fit. Once it’s created though, they are a pillar of your system. They believe in you, challenge you, present you with the best that you can be, and then ask you to hold yourself accountable to that.

So where do you look when your belief is broken and you feel disconnected, when you don’t have an established coach or partner?

You look to your network and community, your friends and family. Your peers. You can look to me.

What do you do with a supporting partner or coach?

You broach the subject, you get it out into the world. Whether it is a simple e-mail to a friend, writing it down in a journal, or just saying it out loud:

“I feel like I’m at the end of my rope, this business is taking it out of me and I don’t feel like it’s going to come back to me.”

Get it into the world and say what’s on your mind. Holding it in will only keep you looking at the ground, and it always seems to lead down. Once it’s out there, it’s off of you and you can lift your head and see the hill for what it is. That it has a peak in sight and even though the ground seems to lead down you have climbed this high already.

This is only the first step, but one of the most crucial.

So, when you need someone to believe in you, reach out to someone and get the fear out into the world. Only then are you capable of seeing things for what they are.

Flickr photo by Billie Jane.